June 12th

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. ”
Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888) - novelist

My aspirations fluctuate so much.

I aspire to being redundant but still loved: to see my children grown and strong and to watch them live happy and contented lives surrounded by whatever makes them happiest (I'd like that to be loving families of their own but that is not for me to choose)

I aspire to being valued: I would like to be able to get a job where I can see that I have achieved something. I know that I shouldn't judge myself by my achievements but I do and that is not something I've ever managed to change. Being a mum is great but it doesn't proove to me that I have any intrinsic value. Actually, at times, just ebign able to get a job would be good but I don't seem to be able to even managed that.

I aspire to happiness: to being happy in my own skin - that's a large part of why I joined 365 in the first place. It might mean that I need to lose weight and it might mean I just accept that I am fine how I am. Either way, one day I will enjoy being me!

I aspire to joy: to seeing the joy in everyday rather than getting bogged down in all the chores and the demands. To be able to take time to smile at the passing moments rather than worrying that I have left something unfinished